Hello Dear Reader,
It has been raining cats and dogs for two weeks here on the Garden Isle. While I am delighted with the green gorgeousness that these tropical down pours provide, I am also relieved and grateful to see the return of the sun. As the sun offers its warmth and the soft breezes dry up the muddy "lakes" that dot the landscape I am inspired to write once again.
As you have learned so far, my path has been one of those that we would have called "less travelled" from the perspective of the current world. I was most definitely born into the western culture of ACTION, DOING, ACHIEVING, ACCUMULATING.
In three short decades I was raised up, educated and trained to a level of qualification that I could have accomplished great success in this world. I have already shared with you that this was clearly not the plan and that forces greater than my ego and worldly identity had a strong hold on my life direction.
What I want to write about today is something that I know is not just a personal condition. I hear from so, so many people; friends and clients alike, that they struggle with a sense of low self worth and lack of life purpose. They have not led lives of high achievement in the mainstream and yet to me are some of the loveliest and most sensitive people I know.
What I have learned to recognize is the distinction between DOING AND BEING purposes. While all of us are here to master the art of BEING our best, most awake selves, some of us also have something that we came to do. It is a destiny and must be played out on the life stage in action and interaction with the world.
Some of us, no matter how much we might wish for this kind of focused calling and the sense of self worth and contribution that it can provide, were designed in a very different way.
Eckart Tolle calls us THE FREQUENCY HOLDERS.
I am most definitely a frequency holder. I am writing today in hopes of reaching others of you who may not yet recognize yourselves in the precious purpose for your existence.
One of the best metaphors for a frequency holder is a crystal. Yes it has physical form, yet its purpose is to hold energy.
Just by its presence it is containing vibrations of light. Beautiful to behold and not required to DO anything but just rest in the earth, or maybe in a sacred space, in a temple or home or healing sanctuary. It does its job just by BEING itself!!!!
A note of clarification about the distincitons of BEING and DOING. All of us are frequency holders and it is our most important and first responsibility to come into alignment with our own unique personal frequency. The way you know you are there is when all the restricitons that seem to bind you fall away. You are free and you simply radiate in your own way. You are just being you and it is blissful. The way that we arrive at this state of BEING is through complete and total self acceptance.
When there is no part of us that is resisting, or conflicted with who we naturally are, we literally LIGHT UP.
It is what comes next that is what determines our life path. Some of us are here to use our light to then create, build, participate in something as the contribution of our light into the world. Others of us are simply here to BE the light. It sounds unbelievable in such a production based world that there is nothing for us to do except BE.
Can you fathom the relief you would feel if you could trust that just your existence on the planet is your contribution?
Can you taste the simple joy you would have if you could awaken each day and participate in what ever is the fabric of your life, knowing that your radiance is what is making the difference, not WHAT you are doing or even how perfectly you are doing it?
As a frequency holder the most important "job" we have is self love. Each and every day it is our responsibility to honor this calling, dust off and rinse out any residue of self rejection or conflict or doubt we may have collected over night, and allow our crystal to shine brightly!
Again I feel urged to insist that self love is every one's first responsibility. To the degree that we are in harmony within ourselves, we are in our best possible vibration to participate in life in which ever way we are called.
Why I am writing today is that the frequency holders, as a bunch, seem to struggle more deeply with self doubt. In a world that has not comprehended the value of such a life, it has been challenging to claim our self worth.
Added to this is the conundrum of tending to be a "sensitive" in one or more areas of life. The frequency holders are the ones who, on some level, remember worlds where life existed in much more refined levels. This is what we are doing here.
Just like the crystals buried in the earth are radiating such high vibrations of energy that they can actually balance the earth's energies and once unearthed can change the vibration in physical spaces and human bodies, we have come with similar refined frequencies and our intent is to support the upleveling of humanity's and earth's vibrations.
We are tuning forks, yet we are often the most susceptible to being out of tune. Our dilemma is how to not be overwhelmed by the very conditions that we came to help change.
It is imperative that we take supreme care of ourselves, again, not so popular a focus in a world that is all about taking care of others. Our days are meant to be support systems that allow us to relax and be deeply at peace with our tender, gentle, sensitive natures. The better we take care of our selves, the better we can do our job for the world.
The other part of our task is to come to intimately know what the specific aspects of light are that we are carrying. Light is filled with information, wisdom, codes of infinite power. Our being here allows those codes to be contributed to the world.
WE KNOW THINGS!!!! Often what we know is not even verbal, or easily catalogued into the the information that is necessary for operating the current world. Often our codes are bringing energy and information that provide healing, upliftment, and work in ways that help restore the world's consciousness to its higher potential.
It is essential that we find creative outlets for our frequencies. Whether this is through singing, or dancing, playing music, writing poetry, growing a garden or loving an animal or another human being, it is necessary to allow our energy to flow. It can even be as simple as going for a walk. Just moving is a way of sprinkling our light into the world. If we do not have ways of flowing our energy, we become "pent up" with too much light and it can become extremely destructive. This is evident in the rampant physical and mental health disorders, emotional imbalances, addictions and even complete breakdowns of many of the world's most sensitive souls.
Quite often it is helpful to find a symbol that resonates with your knowing of your true nature as a frequency holder. I have mentioned the crystal. There are many others.
When I was struggling with this dilemma in my own life at one point, I was guided to such a symbol and it has been incredibly helpful with grounding myself in times of self doubt and confusion about my purpose. I will share with you how it came to me.
The perfect message and archetypal image at the perfect time.
I had recently moved to yet another new town, this time Seattle, where I lived in a secluded cove away from the hustle and bustle of the city. My home was right by the water's edge, islands and snow capped mountains dotting the horizon and ferry boats slowly sweeping back and forth in front of my window through out the day and night.
I was once again in one of the empty pockets of my life. I had been drawn to Seattle to do some very satisfying executive and leadership coaching, a step into the world of "doing" that gave my ego and sense of self great relief for a while, but now it was over.
I had been feeling quite panicky about making ends meet and was even fantasizing about getting my taxi license and driving one of the fancy, white, airport limousines that also cruised by my home on a regular basis. I imagined great tips and just hoped I would not run into my former clients and have to deal with my fall from grace, having been their esteemed mentor and now being the carrier of their luggage.
As I shared this idea with a dear friend, I was surprised and startled to hear her response. My friend is a very busy wife and mother and works part time and takes care of an extended family and a lovely large home that is always spotless. A dear soul who was very much entrenched in the world of DOING.
"Menka! Is it really your life purpose to drive a cab?!!!" With those few words she pulled me right back out of my fear based revelry.
A few days later, I was in my living room and attempting to attune to some guidance. Stirred up and fussing, feeling waves of self doubt swirling around inside, and only voices of accusation pounding in my head: "You are so qualified! You have a university degree and you could have any career you want! Why don't you go and make something of yourself? What's the matter with you? Maybe you are just lazy and self absorbed!"
With this lovely sonnet playing in my inner chambers, I got up off my meditation mat and reached for my tarot cards. I held the cards in my hand and with deep humility prayed: "Please, what is my purpose?"
I spread the cards and one was clearly calling to me. I turned it over and it was one of the major cards THE STAR.
A lovely painting of a woman, her body in a soft S curve, one hand extended up to the heavens, holding a crystal that seemed to be receiving the light of the heavens, and one hand extended down the the earth, also holding a crystal, pouring the light that was flowing through her body down to ground into the world below her.
I sobbed with my whole being! Sobs of recognition. Sobs of relief as I was once again reminded of a new emerging sense of purpose. Just before arriving in Seattle, I had been introduced to the term "star person." I had gone to a spiritual guide looking for help with the deep pain of feeling lost and disconnected in the world. After listening to my story and patiently waiting through my tears, she spoke with compassion and great clarity.
"You sound like a star person"
She explained that there were those of us here that carried the blueprint from more evolved dimensions and civilizations in the stars. and we were here to hold those frequencies. While my crying just minutes before had been from the deep sense of futility and hopelessness, now my sobs were in response to truth. A complete visceral, emotional, psychic recognition of self. Even after twenty years of sitting at the feet of two esteemed gurus, (the dispensers of dark and revealers of light), I had never experienced this explosion of self knowing. When it is time for us to know who we are, it is revealed. This dear woman had spoken the secret to my soul and every cell of me knew she was speaking the truth.
I became a voracious reader of this phenomenon and everything I read confirmed what I felt. A stranger from a strange land here on earth to support the great shift and bringing forth of the new world. Back from the future, with frequencies that were helping to change the frequencies of humanity and the world. And the only thing necessary was to shine like a star, to BE a radiant light in the world.
Now here was this same message. Coming through the tarot cards. Please, what is my purpose? The Star Card. a beautiful symbolic painting that is now placed in every corner of my home as a visual reminder, and a perfect message of purpose for my life. The message of the star card is that of being a chalice, a holder of light, that offers hope to the world and brings in light and love and blessings from the divine to earth.
I was coming to understand not only WHAT I was, but also how to live it. I had already had mastery level training in how to work with life force energies through my yogic practices. I had also worked with a shaman of the highest order and learned to trust the universal forces that seemed to want to move through me. He would say; "it is safe it is safe, it is just who you are." Now I was learning what to do with those energies. I had often felt overwhelmed, awash with too much feeling, too much openness to psychic forces, too much information about the state of the world and other people's inner worlds.
Now I was being shown what to do with all this energy. I was learning to allow myself to be a chalice, a sacred container and a conduit. A flute of sorts. My "job" was to allow the light of the heavens to pour through me and be offered as a gift to the world.
Imagine putting that on your resume and rental and credit card application!!!!!
It is now many years later, and I have come into some semblance of acceptance of my life purpose as a frequency holder.
As I mentioned in my first post, one of the most important frequencies I am here to hold is the frequency of Grace.
I am learning how to allow this energy to flow to me and through me for the world, while I simply be in my day. I have learned to structure my day so this "job" of being a transmitter of energy is supported. It is an "inside job" and I have learned to create sacred space, often through the night and until about eleven in the morning. These are my working hours and once my job is done, the rest of the day is simply for exercising, chopping wood and carrying water, and playing, being in the world in seemingly ordinary ways, knowing with quiet confidence that I was contributing my part to the greater good without anyone needing to see or know what I was doing.
When it is time to work and generate money, these energy transmissions settle down some and the next chunk of employment shows up. Then it is time again. The energies amp up. It is time to pull the windows closed and to draw down the blinds. God and I are doing our dance together and it is a private party.
I write to you about such strange happenings, partly as my creative outlet for being a frequency holder and partly to attempt to encourage and validate you in your search for a structure and way of honoring your own calling.
How ever it is that you are here to be a frequency holder, please know that every single moment you spend loving and caring for your dear, sensitive self you are doing your job. Caring tenderly and compassionately for your doubts and vulnerabilities is the most important gesture of your days. Finding the symbols and archetypes that most resonate with your true nature, and finding creative outlets for your sparkling light are your daily "assignments."
We all have such gifts inside of us. Some are still considered quite strange in the current world. Yet the NEW WORLD is coming dear ones. It is the world we have been waiting for. In this world WE are the normal ones, we are all welcome with all our sensitivities and our way of being is celebrated, profoundly respected and receives the "highest salaries"
We have come in advance and it has taken all our strength to hang in here through the changing times.
I offer my greatest respect and gratitude to each and every one of you. And to those of you who have been going to work everyday, raising the children, caring for families, running the businesses that keep us all sustained, I also offer you my deepest thanks. I thought I was born to be with you. I have tasted the world of doing and I profoundly respect what it takes to be an awake BEING in this world.
We are all exactly where we need to be. We are all doing our own part to prepare and make way for the NEW WORLD.
I am holding the energy of that world in my chalice every day. I feel it so fully. It moves through me and I extend it's frequencies through my body into the earth and out to you as I sit and type at my computer.
If this energy could speak it would say:
I AM A WHOLE NEW WORLD. I AM MADE OF UNITY CONSCIOUSNESS. I AM FILLED WITH WAVES OF LOVE. ALL JUDGEMENT AND STRUGGLE ARE GONE. EVERYONE IS WELCOME IN MY SPACE, EVERYONE!!!! YOU ARE PRECIOUS, YOU ARE WANTED, YOU MATTER AND YOUR OWN UNIQUE FREQUENCY IS CONTRIBUTING TO THE SONG OF LIGHT AND BEAUTY THAT I SING.
WELCOME HOME DEAR ONES, WELCOME HOME!!!!