Hello Dear Reader,

It has been raining cats and dogs for two weeks here on the Garden Isle. While I am delighted with the green gorgeousness that these tropical down pours provide, I am also relieved and grateful to see the return of the sun. As the sun offers its warmth and the soft breezes dry up the muddy "lakes" that dot the landscape I am inspired to write once again.

As you have learned so far, my path has been one of those that we would have called "less travelled" from the perspective of the current world. I was most definitely born into the western culture of ACTION, DOING, ACHIEVING, ACCUMULATING.
In three short decades I was raised up, educated and trained to a level of qualification that I could have accomplished great success in this world. I have already shared with you that this was clearly not the plan and that forces greater than my ego and worldly identity had a strong hold on my life direction.

What I want to write about today is something that I know is not just a personal condition. I hear from so, so many people; friends and clients alike, that they struggle with a sense of low self worth and lack of life purpose. They have not led lives of high achievement in the mainstream and yet to me are some of the loveliest and most sensitive people I know.

What I have learned to recognize is the distinction between DOING AND BEING purposes. While all of us are here to master the art of BEING our best, most awake selves, some of us also have something that we came to do. It is a destiny and must be played out on the life stage in action and interaction with the world.

Some of us, no matter how much we might wish for this kind of focused calling and the sense of self worth and contribution that it can provide, were designed in a very different way.

Eckart Tolle calls us THE FREQUENCY HOLDERS.

I am most definitely a frequency holder. I am writing today in hopes of reaching others of you who may not yet recognize yourselves in the precious purpose for your existence.

One of the best metaphors for a frequency holder is a crystal. Yes it has physical form, yet its purpose is to hold energy.
Just by its presence it is containing vibrations of light. Beautiful to behold and not required to DO anything but just rest in the earth, or maybe in a sacred space, in a temple or home or healing sanctuary. It does its job just by BEING itself!!!!

A note of clarification about the distincitons of BEING and DOING. All of us are frequency holders and it is our most important and first responsibility to come into alignment with our own unique personal frequency. The way you know you are there is when all the restricitons that seem to bind you fall away. You are free and you simply radiate in your own way. You are just being you and it is blissful. The way that we arrive at this state of BEING is through complete and total self acceptance.

When there is no part of us that is resisting, or conflicted with who we naturally are, we literally LIGHT UP.

It is what comes next that is what determines our life path. Some of us are here to use our light to then create, build, participate in something as the contribution of our light into the world. Others of us are simply here to BE the light. It sounds unbelievable in such a production based world that there is nothing for us to do except BE.

Can you fathom the relief you would feel if you could trust that just your existence on the planet is your contribution?

Can you taste the simple joy you would have if you could awaken each day and participate in what ever is the fabric of your life, knowing that your radiance is what is making the difference, not WHAT you are doing or even how perfectly you are doing it?

As a frequency holder the most important "job" we have is self love. Each and every day it is our responsibility to honor this calling, dust off and rinse out any residue of self rejection or conflict or doubt we may have collected over night, and allow our crystal to shine brightly!

Again I feel urged to insist that self love is every one's first responsibility. To the degree that we are in harmony within ourselves, we are in our best possible vibration to participate in life in which ever way we are called.

Why I am writing today is that the frequency holders, as a bunch, seem to struggle more deeply with self doubt. In a world that has not comprehended the value of such a life, it has been challenging to claim our self worth.
Added to this is the conundrum of tending to be a "sensitive" in one or more areas of life. The frequency holders are the ones who, on some level, remember worlds where life existed in much more refined levels. This is what we are doing here.

Just like the crystals buried in the earth are radiating such high vibrations of energy that they can actually balance the earth's energies and once unearthed can change the vibration in physical spaces and human bodies, we have come with similar refined frequencies and our intent is to support the upleveling of humanity's and earth's vibrations.

We are tuning forks, yet we are often the most susceptible to being out of tune. Our dilemma is how to not be overwhelmed by the very conditions that we came to help change.
It is imperative that we take supreme care of ourselves, again, not so popular a focus in a world that is all about taking care of others. Our days are meant to be support systems that allow us to relax and be deeply at peace with our tender, gentle, sensitive natures. The better we take care of our selves, the better we can do our job for the world.

The other part of our task is to come to intimately know what the specific aspects of light are that we are carrying. Light is filled with information, wisdom, codes of infinite power. Our being here allows those codes to be contributed to the world.
WE KNOW THINGS!!!! Often what we know is not even verbal, or easily catalogued into the the information that is necessary for operating the current world. Often our codes are bringing energy and information that provide healing, upliftment, and work in ways that help restore the world's consciousness to its higher potential.

It is essential that we find creative outlets for our frequencies. Whether this is through singing, or dancing, playing music, writing poetry, growing a garden or loving an animal or another human being, it is necessary to allow our energy to flow. It can even be as simple as going for a walk. Just moving is a way of sprinkling our light into the world. If we do not have ways of flowing our energy, we become "pent up" with too much light and it can become extremely destructive. This is evident in the rampant physical and mental health disorders, emotional imbalances, addictions and even complete breakdowns of many of the world's most sensitive souls.

Quite often it is helpful to find a symbol that resonates with your knowing of your true nature as a frequency holder. I have mentioned the crystal. There are many others.

When I was struggling with this dilemma in my own life at one point, I was guided to such a symbol and it has been incredibly helpful with grounding myself in times of self doubt and confusion about my purpose. I will share with you how it came to me.
The perfect message and archetypal image at the perfect time.

I had recently moved to yet another new town, this time Seattle, where I lived in a secluded cove away from the hustle and bustle of the city. My home was right by the water's edge, islands and snow capped mountains dotting the horizon and ferry boats slowly sweeping back and forth in front of my window through out the day and night.

I was once again in one of the empty pockets of my life. I had been drawn to Seattle to do some very satisfying executive and leadership coaching, a step into the world of "doing" that gave my ego and sense of self great relief for a while, but now it was over.
I had been feeling quite panicky about making ends meet and was even fantasizing about getting my taxi license and driving one of the fancy, white, airport limousines that also cruised by my home on a regular basis. I imagined great tips and just hoped I would not run into my former clients and have to deal with my fall from grace, having been their esteemed mentor and now being the carrier of their luggage.

As I shared this idea with a dear friend, I was surprised and startled to hear her response. My friend is a very busy wife and mother and works part time and takes care of an extended family and a lovely large home that is always spotless. A dear soul who was very much entrenched in the world of DOING.

"Menka! Is it really your life purpose to drive a cab?!!!" With those few words she pulled me right back out of my fear based revelry.

A few days later, I was in my living room and attempting to attune to some guidance. Stirred up and fussing, feeling waves of self doubt swirling around inside, and only voices of accusation pounding in my head: "You are so qualified! You have a university degree and you could have any career you want! Why don't you go and make something of yourself? What's the matter with you? Maybe you are just lazy and self absorbed!"

With this lovely sonnet playing in my inner chambers, I got up off my meditation mat and reached for my tarot cards. I held the cards in my hand and with deep humility prayed: "Please, what is my purpose?"

I spread the cards and one was clearly calling to me. I turned it over and it was one of the major cards THE STAR.

A lovely painting of a woman, her body in a soft S curve, one hand extended up to the heavens, holding a crystal that seemed to be receiving the light of the heavens, and one hand extended down the the earth, also holding a crystal, pouring the light that was flowing through her body down to ground into the world below her.

I sobbed with my whole being! Sobs of recognition. Sobs of relief as I was once again reminded of a new emerging sense of purpose. Just before arriving in Seattle, I had been introduced to the term "star person." I had gone to a spiritual guide looking for help with the deep pain of feeling lost and disconnected in the world. After listening to my story and patiently waiting through my tears, she spoke with compassion and great clarity.

"You sound like a star person"

She explained that there were those of us here that carried the blueprint from more evolved dimensions and civilizations in the stars. and we were here to hold those frequencies. While my crying just minutes before had been from the deep sense of futility and hopelessness, now my sobs were in response to truth. A complete visceral, emotional, psychic recognition of self. Even after twenty years of sitting at the feet of two esteemed gurus, (the dispensers of dark and revealers of light), I had never experienced this explosion of self knowing. When it is time for us to know who we are, it is revealed. This dear woman had spoken the secret to my soul and every cell of me knew she was speaking the truth.

I became a voracious reader of this phenomenon and everything I read confirmed what I felt. A stranger from a strange land here on earth to support the great shift and bringing forth of the new world. Back from the future, with frequencies that were helping to change the frequencies of humanity and the world. And the only thing necessary was to shine like a star, to BE a radiant light in the world.

Now here was this same message. Coming through the tarot cards. Please, what is my purpose? The Star Card. a beautiful symbolic painting that is now placed in every corner of my home as a visual reminder, and a perfect message of purpose for my life. The message of the star card is that of being a chalice, a holder of light, that offers hope to the world and brings in light and love and blessings from the divine to earth.

I was coming to understand not only WHAT I was, but also how to live it. I had already had mastery level training in how to work with life force energies through my yogic practices. I had also worked with a shaman of the highest order and learned to trust the universal forces that seemed to want to move through me. He would say; "it is safe it is safe, it is just who you are." Now I was learning what to do with those energies. I had often felt overwhelmed, awash with too much feeling, too much openness to psychic forces, too much information about the state of the world and other people's inner worlds.
Now I was being shown what to do with all this energy. I was learning to allow myself to be a chalice, a sacred container and a conduit. A flute of sorts. My "job" was to allow the light of the heavens to pour through me and be offered as a gift to the world.

Imagine putting that on your resume and rental and credit card application!!!!!

It is now many years later, and I have come into some semblance of acceptance of my life purpose as a frequency holder.
As I mentioned in my first post, one of the most important frequencies I am here to hold is the frequency of Grace.
I am learning how to allow this energy to flow to me and through me for the world, while I simply be in my day. I have learned to structure my day so this "job" of being a transmitter of energy is supported. It is an "inside job" and I have learned to create sacred space, often through the night and until about eleven in the morning. These are my working hours and once my job is done, the rest of the day is simply for exercising, chopping wood and carrying water, and playing, being in the world in seemingly ordinary ways, knowing with quiet confidence that I was contributing my part to the greater good without anyone needing to see or know what I was doing.

When it is time to work and generate money, these energy transmissions settle down some and the next chunk of employment shows up. Then it is time again. The energies amp up. It is time to pull the windows closed and to draw down the blinds. God and I are doing our dance together and it is a private party.

I write to you about such strange happenings, partly as my creative outlet for being a frequency holder and partly to attempt to encourage and validate you in your search for a structure and way of honoring your own calling.

How ever it is that you are here to be a frequency holder, please know that every single moment you spend loving and caring for your dear, sensitive self you are doing your job. Caring tenderly and compassionately for your doubts and vulnerabilities is the most important gesture of your days. Finding the symbols and archetypes that most resonate with your true nature, and finding creative outlets for your sparkling light are your daily "assignments."

We all have such gifts inside of us. Some are still considered quite strange in the current world. Yet the NEW WORLD is coming dear ones. It is the world we have been waiting for. In this world WE are the normal ones, we are all welcome with all our sensitivities and our way of being is celebrated, profoundly respected and receives the "highest salaries"

We have come in advance and it has taken all our strength to hang in here through the changing times.

I offer my greatest respect and gratitude to each and every one of you. And to those of you who have been going to work everyday, raising the children, caring for families, running the businesses that keep us all sustained, I also offer you my deepest thanks. I thought I was born to be with you. I have tasted the world of doing and I profoundly respect what it takes to be an awake BEING in this world.

We are all exactly where we need to be. We are all doing our own part to prepare and make way for the NEW WORLD.

I am holding the energy of that world in my chalice every day. I feel it so fully. It moves through me and I extend it's frequencies through my body into the earth and out to you as I sit and type at my computer.
If this energy could speak it would say:




HI Again

It is spring time here in the northern hemisphere and life is bursting forth all over the place. In my corner of the world, this is most delightfully evident in the broods of tiny, fuzzy chicks scurrying behind their mothers, the wild chickens that Kauai is famous for.
They are so predominant here that the local joke is that they are the state bird. Magnificent orange and florescent green roosters with grand red coxcombs and glistening dark tail feathers, and bold loud voices that unfortunately crow at all hours of the day and night. Their hens, less dashing in plumage but just as bountiful. The wild chickens of Kauai are having their spring chicks and this past weekend, I had fantasies of catching a few to add to an Easter basket that was being made up to take to a brunch gathering.

I am charmed by all baby animals and there is nothing quite so dear as a teeny, weeny infant, just a day old, all yellow, or even black fuzz, chirping and flapping to keep up with the pack and most especially Mom.

With this scene of life springing eternal all around me, I sit to write another message about God's Grace.

Surely the mystery of life is the greatest gift of all that is given to us. We obviously have a hand in activating and sustaining this gift of life, yet it is designed by a force so all encompassing, that it not only thought to create chicks that can scratch for their own food within twenty four hours of being hatched, but planets and stars, galaxies and universes that have sustained themselves for millennium.
And then there is the human being. According to most scriptures, considered God's great masterpiece. I doubt I would provoke much challenge if I were to state that it seems we are not living up to the potential of our design - at least most of us have not for the past 26.000 years or so. What a sad response to the greatest blessing of all time.

There have been ages of enlightenment upon our planet. We have the structures and art work and holy texts of these eras of light and even living elders and shamans that are the keepers of the memories of these more awakened times.
Most of these former civilizations and examples of what it meant to be human also speak about worlds in other dimensions where life exists in much more refined frequencies than those currently inhabiting planet earth. Ancestors from the stars that helped seed the people of the earth with vast capacities and possibilities.

What we hear about in these texts and oracles is that we humans were designed to be gods. Not just some of us to reign over the less evolved masses as is the case in most of the worlds myths, but all of us created with the capacity to ascend into our full awakened, enlightened consciousness, while still remaining in what we call the earthly form.

Our most famous example of this accomplishment in the western world is Jesus - who on Easter Day - came to show the world what god in human form looks like, acts like and lives like - the Christed One.
The feat he accomplished is called ascension - to rise up from a lower form of life to a higher form of life, to even go as far as vanquishing death, becoming divine and yet still walk upon the earth, extending unconditional love to all. ( even the very ones who scorned and crucified him).

What I am here to write about today, on Easter Monday, 2010, is that this process of ascension is now available for all of us.
It is a mind blowing thought!!! I doubt that we will be walking up to our neighbours and friends wreathed in glowing halos with angels by our sides and wings on our feet, however the state of ascension is happening and it is most clearly recognized in the mass shift from fear based consciousness to love, peace and harmony and forgiveness.

In Jesus' time, the culture of the day was in a mightily sorry state, yet his example and vibration of love and unity was powerful enough to change the world forever, and so it is today. Many many many of us are opening to our ascended state and the momentum of these gatherings of light are making their impact all over the world. People all over our globe are choosing love over fear, harmony over hate, and claiming their powers to create heaven on earth.

For a very, very long time the beauty and majesty of what was designed into our DNA, has been lost, hidden, dampened down, turned off. We have been operating on a very diminished operating system and the state of the world and the way we treat ourselves and each other are the obvious reflection of this state.

The most magnificent news is that all that is changing. Our DNA is being turned back on! Our operating system is being upgraded, and much of this is happening by God's Grace.

The process of ascension has mostly only been undertaken by the profoundly committed, serious spiritual aspirants through out the ages and we still, in all our modern history only have a handful of examples of those who have achieved this state of divine human being. Mostly this has been the case because the achievement of ascension has taken supreme effort. To balance and harmonize all human systems to such a state as to shift from separation consciousness to unity consciousness, and to go through the "system upgrades" that can hold this expanded vibration has been the stuff of mystery schools and mastery paths only made available to rare dedicated souls. There even have been great cautions against attempting such practices as the heat and intensity generated by such focused concentration of light has been known to fry the brains of the unprepared.

What is most amazing now is the comprehension that the entire cosmos is being raised up and us along with it. It seems that our beloved creator designed into the works, a time when the entire created world would ascend. The tide of light in the cosmos is rising and all boats in the cosmic ocean are being raised up with it.

It seems that those who track these sort of phenomenon, both the physicists and the psychics and visionaries of our world, are observing galactic events that match those that have been predicted and prophesied for not only twenty six thousand years but perhaps even twenty six million years by the visionaries and wisdom keepers of the ages.

May I suggest that you take a few breaths and open your minds your hearts and your souls, dear readers.... this stuff truly can be boggling but if you relax and sense with the deepest part of you.... you may notice something that stirs in response to this information.

If it is true that we were designed to ascend into gods in human form, and if it is true that our cosmos was designed to vibrate at the level of unity consciousness, then something in us knows that this is true.

It is stunning to think that even after all the mess we have made of our beautiful planet and the eons of struggle and suffering of what it has meant to be human, and perhaps even after millennium of combat between forces of light and dark in our vast universe, that we are approaching a time of "peace through out the kingdom"
And it is being given as a gift.

I would like to share my story of how this gift of ascension has been given to me. Perhaps it will stimulate a willingness to also receive this grace that is washing over our created universe.

As I mentioned in my last message, my path has been one of releasing myself from fear, finding my way to union and then allowing the external aspects of my life to manifest around me as a grace given reflection of this inner shift in consciousness.

For twenty years I have been carrying a small laminated card in my wallet that states my life purpose. It reads:

"I am light, I am love, I am here to live in heaven on earth."

I have diligently and persistently kept the compass of my life focused on this true north and yet have found that there has been an awful lot of what felt like struggle and something that I would call a force field of interference and resistance to the achievement of this purpose.

No mater how many experiences of breakthrough into light and love and heavenly moments I was able to manifest, I have not been able to sustain this into what I would call ascension into "heaven on earth"
Two years ago, after a particularly difficult time of releasing myself from some old entrenched layers of identity that kept me bound to the world of struggle, I found myself in my living room meditating once again on my purpose.

I felt pretty worn out and dismayed at the hope of ever actually experiencing this purpose as a steady state and so mostly my meditation was my foundational practice of " letting go"

Suddenly I felt a sense of great pressure around my body, especially my heart center and even filling up the room around me.

I asked what was happening, knowing by now that I was been visited by the benevolent presence that had been my companion for so long.

Here is what I heard:

"YOU ARE BEING RAISED UP! You have done your part. You have released yourself from your identity in separation.
This is being done for you. Just relax and allow yourself to be lifted. This is your ascension.

and a few moments later ....

"this is your marriage"

It is not possible to express what this experience was like. I was silent for a very, very long time, quiet tears rolling down my face, all the noise and tension and persistent "pressing on" in the direction of my purpose, gone. Just stillness. Walking toward a destiny for so many lifetimes and now at the finish line, the completion offered as a gift. a grace.

(a footnote to those of you would do not know me personally)

I have wanted to be married since I was a little girl. I have been promised in my guidance that it would be given to me but only as I stayed true to my practice of surrender. I have lived five and a half decades as a single person. No matter how determined I was to manifest a husband, the way always blocked! I have lived three decades understanding that I was here creating a state of inner marriage. Activating and joining the archetypes of the conscious feminine and the conscious masculine in union and expanded love.)

Now I was being told I was being married to the divine, that the universe was to be my partner. That all the bounty of heaven was my wedding gift and that all this was being given by grace.

It has taken an awful lot of breathing to open to these blessings.

I am still getting used to the idea of finally being married. I walk in the world as a single person yet my inner records declare that not only am I ascended but I am married to the divine.

As so often happens with radical change, everything that existed before the change is no longer required.

For the past two years my life has been dissolving. It feels like a giant eraser has been placed on the book of my life and has wiped clean the content of the pages. It has only been by this radical dissolution of my old life, that I have been able to confirm the shift that was declared that day. It is one thing to experience ascension in a meditation and to be given it by grace. It is another thing all together to participate in the dissolution of everything that no longer matches who you are while trusting that it is all required to make room for a new life, a whole new world.

( second footnote) be careful what you ask for as it most truly is given!!!!

By Christmas of 09 this dissolution process was complete and I found myself in a void bigger than any I had ever experienced before. I was once again grasped by the back of my pants and placed on Kauai.

"OK!" Now I see!!! heaven on earth, sure enough, every eye full confirms it." Again an experience that is hard to describe.
A sense of having arrived, dropped in to the parallel story of my life. The life I had dreamed of for so long, no interference left, no resistance, no diligent arriving. Old destiny done. Just being in paradise. That's all and that is very much enough!

I have been here now for three months. A blessed time to rest and restore after so much change and admittedly painful letting go. I had not quite realized how deep the cleansing and emptying out would be and I am utterly grateful for this sweet time to rest. I imagine that souls that depart our world also are given this time - a decompression chamber of sorts - to rinse off the scars of living a lifetime in a dense world of fear based suffering. I imagine Jesus' three days in the tomb were a speeded up version of this same process.

Everyone who knows me seems to be urgent to ask: "So what are your plans? what are you going to do now? For once I am in no hurry at all. I find myself trusting. That fear I mentioned in my last message that would grip me in the emptying out times of the past, seems blessedly absent. I find myself replying: " I don't have any plans. I feel such a sense of complete and utter change that I cannot fill in the details, other than to say, it is going to be loving, filled with light and like heaven on earth."

I also find myself saying that it feels like what ever is coming next is going to be dropped in, like an air drop, a complete package of sorts, a whole new operating system. It seems impossible to attend to the details when the whole construct of my life is preparing to be dropped in.

And so now it is Easter once again. Jesus, now the Christ, is out of his cave. His light shines in the world, and for those who have eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts to feel, he is offering a whole new world. And all that is required is that people let go of their fear, open their hearts and enter the kingdom of heaven NOW!

On Easter morning I was meditating and once again, as happened two years ago. I felt a sense of pressure around my heart. A presence of energy asking for entry. I asked what it was and I felt and heard: " A NEW WORLD" "A WHOLE NEW WORLD IS BEING OFFERED, OPEN TO IT"

It has taken the majority of the last two days to open wide enough, to receive this gift. As I do, I feel that I am being given all that I have waited for, prayed for, intended and dreamed of.

It is a world of light and love. It is a place where all of us are welcome in our full and complete glory. There is no restriction to the boundlessness of our original design. We are invited in this world to be the creator gods that we truly are. We are all raised up and we are living in harmony and peace in the bounty of heaven.

Thank you God for the boundlessness of your love. Thank you for your infinite patience. You have given us this chance to learn and live in the soup of contrast. Such dense, dark energy that we imagined we were separate and we have almost destroyed ourselves in the fear that has clouded us.

Thank you for the gift of ascension. For the raising up of the frequency of love at the galactic center. You designed this in the silence before time. It is washing through our cosmos and even if we do not know it, our core structures are changing. We are being rinsed clean of fear and our codes of light are turning back on.

All we have to do is open our hearts and notice that there is a deep, abiding inclination to love that is pulsing more and more strongly. It is our original nature and it is ascending back into its glory. After so much striving and struggling just to survive, it may seem like a fantasy to imagine letting go and melting back into your original nature which is love. Yes it takes commitment to accept and even forgive the travesties of a world shrouded in darkness and fear, yet we are now being offered our original gift once again. We are made of light and the entire formed universe is raising its vibration from heavy density back into light. A vast giant hand is being extended out to us. Inviting us, offering to lift us into a brighter, more beautiful world. We are being dusted off and shaken loose from our contracted state. We all have our own personal crucifixion stories. Are you ready to begin your ascending one? Are you ready to participate in creating your own version of heaven on earth?

So, at this inspiring time of spring, I pray that all of us will slow down a little bit. Find a chick to watch or a spring leaf unfolding, or feel the sun getting warmer on your face. It only takes a moment. And as you do, perhaps you too will feel a gentle, benevolent presence right there at the door of your soul, offering you an Easter basket filled with the treasure of your own original nature.

Blessings of love